W***ers. Arseblog says it best.
In other news I’m going to Austria in a few weeks for our pre-season training camp and a friendly against SC Colombia Foridsdorf (cheers Peter, top man!), some amateur team on the outskirts of Vienna who play at what looks like a training pitch with a bar behind one of the goals (bliss). Will I be giving you exclusive updates? Will I f**k, mobile roaming isn’t cheap!
So, while I was coaching kids hockey on Friday, we made our first signing of the summer as defender Thomas Vermaelen signed from Ajax for a reported £10million.
So, we’ve actually made a signing early doors in the transfer window! Lets hope there’s a DCM following….
Yeah, we’re about to make a signing apparently. Everyone, grab an oxygen mask. Pulling in down will start the supply of O2 to the mask. Parents and Guardians, please ensure you fit your own mask before helping others.
Thomas Vermaelen will have his medical today according to penniless Sultana. He sounds quite excited about it as well:
“On Friday I will fly to London to undergo a medical. Then I hope to sign. I feel so proud. Arsenal is a fantastic club, and as a child I watched them play.
On Friday, if I go to Emirates Stadium I will be seriously impressed, this will be a big change in my life, next year I will suddenly be facing the best strikers in the world. This does not scare me, I will give everything my body has.
This is one of the best days of my life.”
So, he’s as happy as Larry. I don't know who Larry is or why he’s happy, but I suspect its probably drugs. You can probably tell which is Larry’s house as the roof wont have any snow on it when it snows due to the cannabis factory in his loft. I love that “I will give everything my body has” bit too, as I just get images of him all skinny and empty at the end of the game, with his skin just hanging off his skeletal frame.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t hear about how the story progresses instantly though, remember the Nasri and Arshavin transfers and how long they took? That Arshavin one was on a snow day too, I spent 8 hours clinging onto Sky Sports News’ every word that day, so thank god I’ve got a relatively busy weekend to distract myself from it! So fingers crossed we’ll get this one in the bag and everything will be like Bruce Campbell; Groovy.
Groovy!
The official season review DVD is out soon, don’t all rush to get it…..
Theo assisted James Milner’s goal in England’s 2-0 victory over Spain in the U21 Championships. Check out the video, Theo lights the afterburners at about 2:05 in, toasts his man before threading a perfect pass for Milner to place the ball into the net. Awesome assist, more of that next season please Mr Walcott.
In other news……………erm……………………………………there isn’t any, so I’ll bid you good weekend.
Here’s the fixtures (until Sky f**k about with them)
August
Sat Aug 15 Everton A
Aug 18/19 UEFA Champions League N Play-off round 1L
Sat Aug 22 Portsmouth H
Aug 25/26 UEFA Champions League Play-off round 2L
Sat Aug 29 Manchester United A
September
Sat Sep 12 Manchester City A
Sep 15/16 UEFA Champions League Matchday 1
Sat Sep 19 Wigan Athletic H
Wed Sep 23 Carling Cup 3
Sat Sep 26 Fulham A
Sep 29/30 UEFA Champions League Matchday 2
October
Sat Oct 3 Blackburn Rovers H
Sat Oct 17 Birmingham City H
Oct 20/21 UEFA Champions League Matchday 3
Sat Oct 24 West Ham United A
Wed Oct 28 Carling Cup 4
Sat Oct 31 Tottenham Hotspur H
November
Nov 3/4 UEFA Champions League Matchday 4
Sat Nov 7 Wolverhampton Wanderers A
Sat Nov 21 Sunderland A
Nov 24/25 UEFA Champions League Matchday 5
Sat Nov 28 Chelsea H
December
Wed Dec 2 Carling Cup 5
Sat Dec 5 Stoke City H
Dec 8/9 UEFA Champions League Matchday 6
Sat Dec 12 Liverpool A
Tue Dec 15 Burnley A
Sat Dec 19 Hull City H
Sat Dec 26 Aston Villa H
Mon Dec 28 Portsmouth A
January
Sat Jan 2 F.A . Cup 3
Wed Jan 6 Carling Cup Semi-Final (1)
Sat Jan 9 Everton H
Sat Jan 16 Bolton Wanderers A
Wed Jan 20 Carling Cup Semi-Final (2)
Sat Jan 23 F.A. Cup 4
Wed Jan 27 Aston Villa A
Sat Jan 30 Manchester United H
February
Sat Feb 6 Chelsea A
Tue Feb 9 Liverpool H
Sat Feb 13 F.A. Cup 5
Feb 16/17/23/24 UEFA Champions League Knockout Round 1L
Sat Feb 20 Sunderland H
Sat Feb 27 Stoke City A
Sun Feb 28 Carling Cup Final
March
Sat Mar 6 Burnley H (F.A. Cup 6)
Mar 9/10/16/17 UEFA Champions League Knockout Round 2L
Sat Mar 13 Hull City A
Sat Mar 20 West Ham United H
Sat Mar 27 Birmingham City A
Mar 30/31 UEFA Champions League Quarter-Final 1L
April
Sat Apr 3 Wolverhampton Wanderers H
Apr 6/7 UEFA Champions League Quarter-Final 2L
Sat Apr 10 Tottenham Hotspur A (F.A. Cup Semi-Final)
Sat Apr 17 Wigan Athletic A
Apr 20/21 UEFA Champions League Semi-Final 1L
Sat Apr 24 Manchester City H
Apr 27/28 UEFA Champions League Semi-Final 2L
May
Sat May 1 Blackburn Rovers A
Sun May 9 Fulham H
Sat May 15 F.A. Cup Final
Sat May 22 UEFA Champions League Final
To be Arranged
Bolton Wanderers H *
So a real tough start to the season, but on the plus side it’s two tough away games put to bed early doors. End of January/early February looks to be the real judgement time for us
Wed Jan 27 Aston Villa A
Sat Jan 30 Manchester United H
Sat Feb 6 Chelsea A
Tue Feb 9 Liverpool H
Ouch! Lets hope we’re there or there abouts by that point. The Liverpool home game concludes our games vs the other ‘Big 4’ sides, which means the run in isn’t too bad. Out games against the scum are:
Sat Oct 31 Tottenham Hotspur H
Sat Apr 10 Tottenham Hotspur A (F.A. Cup Semi-Final)
Other important time is the Christmas period:
Sat Dec 19 Hull City H
Sat Dec 26 Aston Villa H
Mon Dec 28 Portsmouth A
Fingers crossed that’ll be at least 7 points. Might even try for a Pompey away ticket as well.
Anyway, I’ll leave you to work out which games will move about!
Yeah, I’ve not posted much. Three reasons:
1) I’ve been on holiday
2) It’s been really busy at work
3) Absolutely f**k all has been happening.
Well, not entirely true. Lukasz Flappyhandski signed a new contract last week, and considering he’s only 24 that’s probably a good thing as he’ll hopefully improve. Plus there’s the will he/wont he RVP contract story, the will he/wont he bit depends which red-top rag you are reading. He’ll sign.
Plus there’s the Cesc thing, which is all utter shite fabricated by los putos, the Spanish press, so this is all the time of day I’m giving it!
The old man has sent me an email copied from Gooner Talk, who claim to have the next season’s fixtures leaked by Sky:
After completing their pre-season campaign, the Gunners’ start off with a tough trip to West Ham at Upton Park, Saturday, August 15, 2009.
Following that game, there are some tricky home ties against newly-promoted Burnley and FA Cup champs Chelsea.
In September, Arsene Wenger’s men travel up north to face Bolton on the 12th, before 4-goal magician Andrey Arshavin returns to Anfield against Liverpool.
They finish the month with a home match versus Manchester City.
They even have a pic taken from SSN seemingly confirming it. If correct it’s not great. Primarily as that’s a bloody tough start to the campaign, plus I’m away the bank holiday weekend and would miss Chavski at home. F**king boo!
One thing that did develop while I was on holiday before petering out like Herpes was the potential move of Ajax centre back (and can also cover left back….bye bye Silvestre!) Thomas Vermaelen. I missed the whole thing, but it’s gone from “it’s a case of when not if” to total silence. So chances are, like herpes, it’ll re-emerge when you least expect and we’ll get our man, but probably only at 23:59 on 31st August as usual!
Anyway, back to the grindstone for me. Got my first nets session at Cricket tonight. Could be highly entertaining, but not for me I predict.
Adios!
I’ve not posted in a while. Two reasons: One, there’s not been a great deal to post about, and two I’ve been super busy at work, and couldn’t be arsed to do a blog once I got home.
So there!
I’m off on holiday in a few days, so you wont get anything then either. So, erm, just talk amongst yourselves for a bit I guess……
First things first, I’ve just got tickets to see these bad-assed mo-foes at Brixton on November.
Skunk Anansie MOTHERF**KER!!!
Oh yes, 9 years after they split and 10 years since I last saw them, the legendary Skunk Anansie are back! I for one am moist. If you don’t know them then youtube them now. Now, NOW MOTHERF**KER!!!!! Or use the links below for some choice cuts:
Anyway. Sunday is the last game of the season (booooooo) with Stoke visiting the Grove. Team news is that Almunia and Nasri are out, Fabianski is 50/50 so we may see young Vito Mannone make his debut in goal. It’s a dead rubber so not too bad a way to make your bow. Other than that it’s the same squad as last weekend. Adebayor apparently still has a groin problem that ruled him out of the trip to Old Trafford last weekend, read into that what you will. Thinking about it he’ll still have to do the lap of the pitch with his team mates at the end of the game, so we’ll know if he’s really injured then. Should be an interesting reception if he shows!
Comedy moment now. After all the evidence, all the truth and absolute proof from Hull that dirty dirty Johnny Foreigner Cesc Fabregas spat on/near/towards/inside Hull Assistant Liar Manager Brian Horton on the pitch/in the tunnel/on the deck of the Mary Rose, the FA have cleared Cesc on both charges he was faced with (spitting and improper conduct on the pitch at the final whistle), citing, surprise f**king surprise, “insufficient evidence”.
Couple this with the fact that Hull Liar Manager Phil “Son of Sam” Brown spent several days in the aftermath of the game making an absolute tit of himself, talking himself into an FA charge, as well as the fact that Hull could get relegated this weekend, makes the whole thing quite amusing.
Lets take a minute to piss ourselves with laughter. In fact, f**k it, lets take three.
"For their club captain Cesc Fabregas to spit at my assistant at the end of the game shows you what this club is all about. I was there and witnessed it, he spat at my assistant manager down the tunnel, that's their captain. Hopefully he's proud of himself. He spat at his feet." – Phil Brown
“It just shows how we've got up the noses of the Arsenal hierarchy.” – Phil Brown
"He wouldn't shake my hand when we beat them fairly 2-1 at the Emirates, he wouldn't shake my hand when they beat us, fairly, 3-1 at the KC Stadium." – Phil Brown
Done? Excellent. Now lets hope Arsenal release the lawyers and really turn the knife, make that orange pr*ck eat his words.
One more thing on the new away kit, apparently we had blue away shirts as early as 1918. Oh, ok then.
Big Phil Senderos (la la la la laaa) has said he’d like to make his stay in Milan permanent. Personally I’d be interested in having him back and seeing what he’s learnt from the likes of Maldini. I mean, if you can’t learn how to defend from a legend such as him and in a league famous for being defensively minded, then you’ve got no hope. But it’s not down to me, if it was then things would be different, oh yes! Adebayor wouldn’t have any kneecaps for a start.….
Monaco defender Cedric Mongongu admits he is flattered to be linked with Arsenal. Really? Excellent, but who the f**k are you? One of the most promising defensive talents in Ligue 1 according to Sky Sports, so I’ll take their word for that.
AA has called for Wenger to spend spend spend! in the summer, saying that we’re only two or three quality players away from being “f**king awesome”. His words, not mine, honest!
That’ll do for the weekend, I’m going to get thoroughly destroyed as Leanne is away. So enjoy the long weekend and, for the last time this season…
COME ON YOU REDS!
