“A battle is a conceptual component in the hierarchy of combat in warfare between two or more armed forces, wherein each group will seek to defeat the others within the scope of a military campaign, and are well defined in duration, area and force commitment.”
That there my pedigree chums is wikipedia’s definition of a battle. It involves two sides going hammer and tongs at eachother. The tie against Celtic only saw one side compete, the other was pretty damn poor and only had 2 shots in 180 minutes of football (although they did score with the second.)
Most of the press today isn’t about how we cruised our way past a side that has given AC Milan, United and Barcelona troubles in the past. Oh no, Eduardo took a dive and now he’s more of a c**t than Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi!
Now I don’t condone diving, it’s s**t. But it’s happened to us many a time in the past and no-one has given a flying f**k. Remember when the granny shagger tripped over his own knuckles in front of the Stretford End to end our invincible run, and the media we’re practically giving him a knighthood! The gaffer also speaks of swings and roundabouts:
"We got a penalty two years ago in the quarter-final of the Champions League at Liverpool that made the difference when Ryan Babel dived,"
"Nobody ever apologised to us. It was a blatant dive and nobody spoke about it."
Reading through the Wenger diplomacy you get the message “f**k you”, and I like that! He went on to point out another fact from last night:
"I must still say that we were likely always to score the first goal because Eduardo had a great chance before the penalty. We always looked in control of the game."
Yep, this wasn’t an 88th minute dive to win the tie, this was a tie that we were in full control of and, lets be honest, we would have scored last night regardless. It wasn’t 5-1 on aggregate for no reason, something that Celtic manager Tony Mowbray pointed out too:
"Over the two legs, Arsenal had more quality and deserved to go through."
So yeah, diving is s**t and needs to be stamped down on, but lets have a bit of consistency when we do eh (and not hunt down Johnny Foreigner while pretending those that represent Iiiinnggguuuurrrrrrrrrlund are whiter than white.)
Massimo Donati, who scored with a good strike at the death last night, has called for Eduardo to be banned for two games. I call for Massimo Donati to f**k off and be used as a sex toy for a herd of Rhinos.
There’s the sound of nails being hit firmly on heads over at Arseblog today on Eduardoisadivingc**tsomustbepubliclyhung-gate.
Another standout issue last night was that of workrate. It was brilliant, and has been for all the games so far this season. But last night there were a few players that just ran ran and ran. And you know what, then they ran some more! It was awesome to watch, but one stood out more than the others
That’s right, stand up Emmanuel Eboue.
A workrate that would have made the Terminator break sweat was rewarded with a well taken goal at the end of a slick passing play, last night the guy was sublime and there’s a real danger that one of last season’s scapegoats will be a fan favourite this time around. Love it.
So, we’re in the draw for the group phases of the champions league, for the 12th year in a row, which should take place around 5pm tonight. More importantly, it frees up £30million for transfers. Lets see if Wenger gets the chequebook out and prepares for the injuries that we’ll no doubt get en masse.